Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex

Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex
“You can have a good time with the servitude” vs. “You’re supporting a system of degradation”

by Melissa Farley, Emily Schuckman, Jacqueline M. Golding, Kristen Houser, Laura Jarrett, Peter Qualliotine, Michele Decker Psychologists for Social Responsibility Annual Conference Boston, Massachusetts July 15, 2011 Research by Prostitution Research & Education Research Supported by Hunt Alternatives Fund.

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Farleyetal2011ComparingSexBuyers

Prostitution in Scotland

“Challenging Men’s Demand for Prostitution in Scotland”
A Research Report Based on Interviews with 110 Men Who Bought Women in Prostitution
Jan Macleod, Melissa Farley, Lynn Anderson, and Jacqueline Golding
Published by Women’s Support Project, 2008

Click below to read or download

scotland

UK Green Party policy on prostitution (2014)

Prostitution and the Sex Industry

RR550 The Green Party believes that the law should not seek to regulate consensual sexual activities between adults where those do not affect others. Where there are such effects, a balance must be reached. Adults should be free to do as they wish with their own bodies, and to practice whatever form of sexual activity they wish by themselves or with each other by mutual consent. This includes the freedom not only to engage in such sexual acts, but also to be photographed or filmed doing so, to make such images available to other adults with their consent, and to be able to view such images. That someone might receive payment for any of these activities should not affect this freedom.

RR551 Regardless of generally accepted standards of public morality in the past, no attempt to end various aspects of prostitution with prohibitive laws has worked. In addition, with the availability of sexually explicit material via the internet it is not realistic to expect that censorship laws will be able to stop access to such material in the future.

RR552 For the reasons given above, the Green Party believes that attempting to stop the sex industry by using prohibitive laws is neither desirable nor realistic.

RR553 Criminalisation of many parts of the sex industry leaves those working within it in a vulnerable position. They are often unable to turn to the law for help in cases where their rights are violated, and instead fall prey to criminal gangs and pimps.

RR554 Therefore, all aspects of sex work involving consenting adults should be decriminalised. Restrictions and censorship of sexually explicit material should be ended, except for those which are aimed at protecting children. Workers in the sex industry should enjoy the same rights as other workers such as the right to join unions (See WR410), the right to choose whether to work co-operatively with others etc. Decriminalisation would also help facilitate the collection of taxes due from those involved in sex work. Legal discrimination against sex workers should be ended (for example, in child custody cases, where evidence of sex work is often taken to mean that a person is an unfit parent).

RR555 The Green Party recognises that, although people should be free to engage in sex work if they wish, this is an industry which can be more exploitative than others, and those who work in it should be adequately protected against such exploitation. There should be zero tolerance of coercion, violence, or sexual abuse (including child abuse). Those who have been trafficked into the country and forced to work in the sex industry against their will should receive protection under the law (see MG450-454). There should be legal support for sex workers who want to sue those who exploit their labour unfairly, and access to re-training for those sex workers who want to leave the industry. As far as possible, public services, the Government and legal system should aim to end those social attitudes which stigmatise those who are, or have been, sex workers.

RR556 Regular health checks should be available to all sex workers, free of charge (see H300), to protect both them and their clients.

RR557 The use of commercial premises as brothels should be legalised, and such brothels should be subject to licensing by local authorities to ensure protection of those working there and clients from abuse, and protection of the local community from nuisance and abuse. Some prostitutes choose to work from home, or similarly in residential premises, like some other trades. Such use of primarily residential premises should be permitted without a licence being required, subject to the avoidance of nuisance and abuse. This exemption from licensing requirements should still apply if more than one person works in such premises, provided that such activities take place on a sufficiently small scale that they are not tantamount to a commercial brothel.

RR558 The decriminalisation of prostitution should not require all prostitutes to work in regulated brothels. Doing this would still leave a criminalized street prostitution market. Those workers whom regulated brothels chose to employ would work legally, and those who not so employed would still work illegally on the streets. In order to protect those street workers (often the most vulnerable) the law shall not criminalize their activity.

RR559 Laws against soliciting should be repealed, and issues of “public nuisance” should be dealt with under general legal provision against nuisance. In order to minimise any such nuisance, wherever possible particular areas should be designated where street prostitutes can work in safety without upsetting local residents and traders. Such areas should be decided by negotiation between the police, prostitutes and/or their representatives, and the residents and/or their representatives. Local authorities and the health service should ensure that such street workers have ready access to health facilities and advice about the health risks of their work.

I CALL THIS THE CLOUD-CUCKOO POLICY. HW.

Punters. In their own words.

Every quote is copied and pasted from a website on which men review the prostitutes (“escorts”) they have used.

‘Eastern European, blonde…[the sex was] very mechanical… was angry and frustrated…she is a like a robot…’

‘[Very tiny Asian] winced and complained my fingers were too big…she started to ask “you want put condom on now boss”. After a short while I agreed and we had sex. After a while I asked for anal but knew the answer before I got it. “No, you too big, boss.” Useless.’

‘I’m sick of paying for sex, getting nothing more than robotic treatment.’

‘Completely uninterested. Eyes wide open and looking bored….Eventually thought, better fuck it and go.’

‘Seemed very uninterested, no real conversation or enthusiasm, sex rather mechanical, seemed to want to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible.’

‘My first impression when I saw her was to walk out, but for 10 pounds I thought I’d give it a go…She had her eyes closed, I could tell she was high on drugs, definitely skunk…this got me really angry.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘Got the feeling she wanted to get the process over with ASAP and kept looking at the clock.’

‘Common as fuck, gum-chewing Hungarian whore…Transpired that she had been fucked silly all afternoon and here was I…expecting some type of GFE [girlfriend experience]. So I fucked her as hard as I could in doggy, got a few yelps out of her, but she was well used to it.’

‘Her whole attitude was one of ‘let’s get this over with and get the next punter in’.’

‘[It was] the sort of experience that you have with your girlfriend when she doesn’t really want a shag, but when you pester her into it.’

‘When I asked about anal I was told not available on first meeting! Well I ain’t starting a relationship with you, love. I just want to fuck you up the arse!’

‘Her routine is somewhat stilted and mechanical and any attempt at injecting some verve will leave you feeling rather like you’re flogging a dead whore.’

‘Shannon seemed quite switched off and uninterested in everything she provided…A robotic type performance and no “girlfriend” type interaction. It was like being treated like a dirty old car going through the car wash…I concluded matters by taking her from behind but during the process she protested that I was holding onto her arse too tightly! Unless she is going to start enjoying herself a bit more it doesn’t matter how young she is I won’t be returning.’

‘Stacey seems to have hardened her attitude since I last saw her. I’ve seen this happen to some girls who have done the job for a while. Their sweetness, friendliness and femininity gradually diminishes away to uncover a colder more unappealing personality. Perhaps they start to secretly despise men and start viewing them as objects which hand over money.’

‘The main event was like shagging a dead fish (No reaction from her at all).’

‘This woman was treating me like a bloody object…I just wanted to spend some quality time with a nice lady. Instead I got a shameless whore…The best word to describe this lady — “bitch” don’t go see her unless you simply want a “professional” service and to be treated like a lump of meat.’

‘All she did was moan, moan, moan. Don’t touch this, don’t do that, don’t put any weight on me. I offered her to go on top and she refused and she kept threatening to walk out of the room.’

‘[Hungarian girl aged 18] turns up at the flat, yawning and looking miserable…Might as well have bought a dummy, at least the dummy wouldn’t refuse 99% of the time. No cum in mouth, no kissing. Wouldn’t smile or respond in any way apart from constant yawning. Complete & utter rip off.’

‘There was no emotion of any sort. She was not the least bit interested in providing pleasure…She was cold and monosyllabic – ‘You do work now’, she commanded as she flopped back, as lively as a corpse.’

‘The constant need to relubricate suggested she just wasn’t into it…I got the feeling she just wanted me to leave…I am somewhat older than Rebekah, and I don’t think that helped.

‘It was obvious she just wanted to empty me and get on her way as soon as possible.  I went out that night and pulled and got laid for the price of a bottle of Moet and 3 vodka Redbulls, now there’s a better deal.’

‘Why can’t these lasses knock out a bit of value? Fucking was mechanical and passionless on her part. Had a gutful of these eastern Europeans who want the loot but only give a 3rd rate show.’

‘She obviously doesn’t enjoy doing this, and doesn’t even make an effort to pretend that she does.’

‘Young whore from Portugal…complained that I had a “thick dick” which was a problem for her! I thought well if you can’t take it go find a day job!’

‘Boobs too sore to suck…tried to shag her but again legs used to prevent full penetration, tried to thrust harder, was told “not so hard”…If I pay for a shag I expect to get one.’

‘She obviously hates the job and was very unenthusiastic.’

‘She just was like a piece of meat…so I thought I better put my cock in her mouth and instead of giving me a bj [blow-job] she started to wank me …I didn’t pay for a wank! I put the condom on and started to fuck her! I thought I have paid so I better fuck her hard! I decided to put the legs on my shoulders and I was pumping hard!’

‘Totally uninterested gum chewing tart…[She] moved into a position where she couldn’t touch me nor I her…Rubbish cocksuck, with her eyes closed, followed by fucking her sloppy lube filled cunt. Total waste of time and money. There’s a warning on the bedroom door — ‘no refunds’ — presumably because of all the punters who have complained about the shit service. There’s a male minder as well, presumably for the same reason.’

‘The [Korean] girl obviously didn’t want to perform, or maybe didn’t like me…Maybe it is my age (over 50) and she was expecting someone younger — but after all, isn’t that why we go, to imagine we are young and sexy again? I can appreciate physical disinterest but her social skills were lacking. She didn’t show distaste — that is understandable, and quite common in EE girls — just lack of anything. Maybe it was her way of cutting herself off.’

‘She was very uninterested and clearly doesn’t like her job, she even told me so which didn’t exactly fill me with confidence.’

‘I tried to get my money’s worth with sex, but her constant, fake, complaining about pain was just too much. She wanted me out of there in 5 minutes, I actually lasted about 30 then, before to lose my temper I decided to leave.’

‘She lay back on the bed like a motionless sack of potatoes…I was doing the best I could in trying to get my money’s worth. I eventually came in her mouth…I phoned the agency as soon as I walked out of the house and told them that her attitude stinks.’

‘[Tiny Singaporean] turned out to be the most unresponsive girl I’ve ever punted with. She didn’t so much recoil from my touch, as freeze, rooted to the spot, so I just let her plough on with the…sex for which I’d paid…I thought doggy would be the way to go, the added bonus being that I didn’t have to look at her sulky expression that way…’

‘I felt like I was pumping an android for the most part.’

‘Small, anorexic-looking drugged-up blonde…no tits at all, and a skinny, tall drugged-up brunette…both hideous and spaced out.’

‘I am sure she was either high or drunk…’

‘I found Zoe a little strange — not sure if she was 100% there whilst we were together.’

‘I settled for a rushed handjob…during which her drug supplier walked in the room.’

‘This girl arrived over half an hour late, stoned and with a joint in her hand. [He went ahead and had sex with her.]’

‘Judging by her body is obviously on drugs. (marks etc)’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘Be careful with this girl all is not as it seems, I think she is chemically assisted.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘She acted as though she didn’t want to be there. She was boring, uninterested and a waste of money.’

‘She seemed completely uninterested & just opened her legs — a blow up doll would be better & cheaper.’

‘I thought she was sleeping. No noise, eyes closed…So pumped a bit harder and faster and it was all over.’

‘I climb on top, she’s avoiding eye contact and is lying motionless while I fuck her [and think] about something better than the thing on the bed.’

‘This THING is a real health hazard. She was half asleep definitely on drugs saw a pipe on her table and smelt and looked dirty.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘Lady (a word I use hesitantly) is no doubt on something and feeding a habit…She looked totally spaced out and even drooling.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘Eve staggered…looking worse for wear (zombiefied) obvious to me now this girl is on drugs.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘Tracey was not attractive. She was about 26, (maybe only 19 but the tough life aged her prematurely?), and once her clothes were off it went downhill. Saggy tits due to a child, painfully thin with bruises. Poss on drugs?’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘The worst experience…she seemed either high on drugs or mentally ill.’[He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘If you do visit this lady…look at her arms, listen to her slurred speech and look at the dazed look in her eyes and then convince me she is not on drugs.’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘I can not believe an agency would end such a girl to a five star hotel, especially one who appeared to be on drugs. She fell over walking down the hallway from my room!’ [He went ahead and had sex with her.]

‘One day I’ll find another genuine anal girl like Ruby used to be before the drugs got too much.’

‘She seemed uninterested and made no effort whatsoever…I just hammered away and shot my load, she may as well have been having her nails done.’

‘I found her lazy and uninterested, which was a real turn off. It was nearly impossible to get a hard on but when I did I shot my load and left.’

‘Ruby started massaging me with one hand whilst talking away on the mobile on the other hand…even whilst I was pumping away she had the cheek to pick her phone up and check the time!’

‘She barely looked at me when I entered the flat, and immediately sat down watching some Russian action movie while I undressed. There was no question that she was bored sick as she waved me in the general direction of the shower (still watching tv). She does not understand a word of English.

‘Did not smile …she looked bored…her attitude really got to me and I just left…’

‘Cold, clinical, unfriendly and to be avoided. I hope they send her back to Romania.’

‘Had the feeling she really wished she was somewhere else…to be honest it put me off a bit.’

‘No real feeling she was happy to have seen me.’

‘She arrived looking pissed off to say the least…the lack of enthusiasm was barely hidden. She climbed on top and I have to say I think she deliberately tried to hurt me. She leaned on my chest so hard I had to concede and ask to change positions. Now I’m a well built guy and she is quite slight so to exert so much pressure as to actually hurt must be deliberate, if not subconscious…’

‘Morgan just did not want to be there. Maybe it’s the credit crunch forced her into selling herself to pay the mortgage but clearly she simply did not want to be there at all. Conversation was non-existent, involvement was zero.’

‘Uninterested and on auto-pilot most of the time.’

‘She made sure I knew how uninterested she was in the whole affair with a series of barely-stifled coughs and yawns.’

‘Melissa stony-faced and obviously not really enjoying it much.’

‘Everything with her was perfunctory and she seemed to me to be lazy, bored & uninterested.’

‘Rachel was as warm and cuddly as a wet fish. Every attempt at intimacy was blocked with a turned away face.’

‘She didn’t seem in the least interested…In bed she just lay there.’

‘Katie seemed pretty distant and uninterested throughout.’

‘She was cold and distant during the whole act.’

‘She was so lifeless, silent and unenthusiastic! She then started complaining about how tired she felt…We had sex, mish [man on top] obviously, so that she didn’t have to move! Was motionless and silent throughout, was glad to come so that it would end!’

‘She allowed me to cum on her body but this she clearly hated and ran off to the bathroom to clean and have a shower.’

‘Sabrina was more interested in getting home then providing a good service.’

‘Quite reluctant, got the feeling she wanted to get away with doing the absolute minimum.’

‘The website describes Alexis as ‘a very friendly lady with an open personality who is game for practically all services’. Er, no! Everything she said was, No, I don’t do that or I don’t like that!’

‘I chose Roxy because she does anal, but No Chance! How about a kiss then? She turned her head away constantly…She did give oral and intercourse but with lots of ‘hurry up’, ‘you come now’ etc.’

‘Another young un who’d be better doing something else…Little was on offer in terms of service, enthusiasm, responsiveness or conversation. If she had worked anywhere else she’d probably have been sacked for being total crap…I also really think she’d have preferred it if I’d slipped the money under the door and fucked off without even seeing her!’

‘Eastern European girl without a word of English. No spirit, forced attitude and a complete disinterest from the start.’

‘Stereotypical eastern European girl who will do anything for money! Cold and uninterested to start with …No OWO [oral without condom], no kissing and no [anal]. A bit of a disappointment.’

‘Got up to check the time on her phone, as [my time was] not up, let me carry on. After a few more minutes, she checked the time again and did this a couple more times until she said “time’s up”…very businesslike.’

‘When I asked for a bit of participation on her part, she said, “My legs are open, isn’t that enough?” I eventually managed to come…to her credit she refunded me £50 without argument or complaint. I think she was relieved it was over.’

‘It just felt as though she was going through the motions…needs to learn some dedication to her job.’

‘Heaven was obviously not up for it….Her demeanour and service was just too shoddy…gave me a thoroughly uninterested blowjob. Every now and then she came up for air and moved her jaw from side to side, rubbing her face and scowling…She asked if I wanted sex but I declined, I simply didn’t have the inclination to do the deed because she was obviously so distressed being in close physical contact with me…I asked if she licked balls…whereby she reacted as if to feign being sick and said “No”. By this point her obvious desire to end the encounter had pissed me off totally…She…proceeded to tell me an extremely sad personal tale…She looked like she was going to cry, but soldiered on giving me a half hearted hand job. I felt like crap, as if I was abusing the poor girl. I came, momentarily she let some emotion pass over her face, and then returned to a scowl. I got dressed and left, thoroughly upset and feeling cheated, a bastard and the lowest of the low. Girls like this should not be working. This is precisely why the industry needs regulating and some sort of customer protection needs to be introduced…I am also thoroughly annoyed. I needed cheering up because my life has taken a real crap dive of late but Heaven only succeeded in making me feel worse.’

‘She was so passive and seemed not enjoying the job…only a light kiss, no oral and no anal. The previous review said that she never says “no”, but I found that there were a lot of disturbing voices of “no” while I was trying to take the lead.’

‘I couldn’t believe how fake the moans sounded which was a real turn off for me, you would think that she could make it sound more realistic.’

‘She gave NO eye contact what so ever throughout the hour …fake moaning, No real enthusiasm.  Whole thing was too rushed, padded out with boring posturing…She really needs to develop her routine/attitude.’

‘She is very quiet during sex and made only a few ‘fake’ moans. The sex was uninvolved and workmanlike.’

‘I am not saying a working lady has to enjoy her encounters. However a good courtesan might make some pretence that she is in the throes of passion rather than remaining mute throughout.’

‘This one took me back to the bad old days of the English Soho girl who does the minimum she can for the money…She did nothing, did not even touch me…This was a lazy, uninspired performance…she is only interested in taking the money with minimal effort on her part.’

‘She was completely disinterested and made no effort, an absolutely lacklustre performance…and she couldn’t wait to get out of room.’

‘[She] gave me the most unresponsive shallow blow job I have ever had. No seduction or eroticism went into it at all.’

‘Completely uncommunicative…shoved loads of lube up her fanny…it became clear that this could only be a wank into the body of the girl.’

‘She told me that I had to be on top. I insisted she get on top to which she only wanted for a little while…I just got the impression she wanted to get my spunk out of me and get rid of me…to be told what I was going to do for my money kind of got my goat a little.’

‘Her behaviour was near catatonic. She is clearly not interested at all in this job and probably is not too bright…Her facial expression never varied. She looked like a collision between boredom and indifference. She climbed aboard and started humping. Facial expression unchanged and eyes dead.’

‘She…let me have sex only in mish [man on top], she closed the eyes and it was almost like she fell asleep.’

‘Elenna does not appear to like sex but will do anything legal for money.’

‘She was just distant, uninterested and quite cold, did not perform well and did not care at all about the paying client.’

‘Left me feeling as though I was put through a mechanical routine rather than having a warm girlfriend experience.’

‘Very mechanical, no passion, seemed totally uninterested.’

‘At first I had the impression to have sex with a piece of wood (not very nice) then, after a while, she woke up and went with the act.’

‘During sex I was actually amazed by her silence, I mean, she really was somewhere else.’

‘This girl is an absolute frigid girl…She just said fuck me and go.’

‘She was like a robot. Everything was done on automatic pilot.’

‘Brooke just lay there. Too robotic. She was in a real hurry to get it over. She doesn’t enjoy this work and it shows.’

‘She seemed nice enough but has been damaged by the industry and seems to be going through a robot-like routine without any attachment to her punter.’

‘I really don’t think she enjoys this job…she has a nice body but it makes you feel a proper perv shagging a dead body who won’t stop looking away.’

‘I go to these places for a treat not to have sex with a sack of potatoes.’

‘I felt like I was moving a sack of potatoes around the bed. This lady does not have a clue. I tried missionary position but it was like sticking my cock in a corpse.’

‘Basically she wanted to lie there like a sack of potatoes while I got on with it.’

‘She just lied there like a sack of potatoes…Let me fuck her but she just lay motionless, I pulled the condom off just before I came and wanked until I splashed my load in her face.’

‘Her mind seemed elsewhere…to say it was like shagging a sack of potatoes would be an understatement.’

‘She laid there like a sack of potatoes yawning sometimes as well, when I did cum she just got up got dressed and walked out.’

‘No eye contact, stiff as a board. Wished I had bought a rubber doll from adult shop and would probably have got more fun from that.’

‘She was completely uninterested, continually chewed gum …her facial expression was completely glassed and uninterested, it was like shagging a plastic page, she just lay there’.

‘She was coldness personified. Never cracked a smile the whole session.’

‘I could have literally been shagging the pillow and got more response….I’m paying for this and expect a decent service …I can only assume she hates what she does.’

‘She was cold and distant …[she] put some lubricant on her pussy and opened her legs, she looked like someone waiting for something terrible, I wanted to leave, but …just to have back my money’s worth, I went on to have sex, it felt terrible, she closed her eyes and felt like dead.’

‘It was soon obvious she’d been drinking, and wasn’t into it…there was to be no kissing…but I ended up getting my money’s worth…’

When one punter asked, ‘What if the girl conks out early on an overnight booking?’ Xenia, an escort, replied: ‘Then he should force his penis in her mouth and his fist in her arse. Rightly so! That should wake her up. He paid for it after all!’

‘At least it turns out she’s not trafficked, but she really hates this job and is happy to tell you…Her view on girls who are more comfortable with [being prostitutes] is that they have to be on drugs!’

‘Asked her if she wanted to get on top first, which she did with her head face down in my neck…When I asked if she could sit up I was told no, you’re too big.’

‘Tiffany seemed reluctant to allow my full length immediate entry and I couldn’t seem to place her legs where I wanted them — over my shoulders.’

‘I playfully gave her a little spank. She retorted quickly by saying “Don’t spank me. I’m only size 6 with hardly any fat so it hurts”.’

‘She didn’t want to stay on top of me…and, when I tried mish [man on top], she complained about my size, giving me the bullshit that I’m too big.’

‘She insisted on an awkward position with one leg up and one down — obviously intended to limit penetration — well it limited any enjoyment too.’

‘No sucking tits and no touching her tits because of her boob jobs which made her feel pain.’

‘She didn’t want me to touch or kiss her boobs because they were too sensitive, she didn’t want me to use my fingers because she doesn’t do that and she wouldn’t let me go down on her because she only lets her fella do that.’

‘I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t do that. There was very little that I was able to do…complained she was sore.’

‘[She said] I’ve just finished a 2 hour appointment and my telula is really sore.’

‘She let me suck her tits for a bit then moaned that one was sore…’

‘She…had sore nipples and didn’t want her breasts touched.’

‘She started by half-blocking her pussy with her fingers, and making it very hard to get any penetration.’

‘Kept saying and moaning I was hurting her! Carried on not so deep in many positions (still she moaned).’

‘The saggy skin on the stomach was enough to put me off but the obvious pain she was in while shagging just rounded it off.’

‘Bailey would not let me fully penetrate, and left her hand in between (insisting that the condom may rip). This was a really big turn off.’

Ed: One of the problems escorts encounter is the risk of getting a bad review, which will impact on their earning power, if they refuse to do acts which they feel compromises their health. Sometimes the escorts respond to bad reviews. One called Holly wrote:

‘I was made to feel very uncomfortable with my health being constantly put at risk. It’s highly unhygienic and dangerous to be expected to continually penetrate the anal and vaginal areas alternately with the same condom, which is what was asked of me.’

And in response to this review…

‘[No oral sex without a condom] and no kissing, but I didn’t expect she would not even touch my cock without a rubber on…there are just too many restrictions with her, I almost felt I should ring a bell and yell “unclean”. Typical like a lot of British Asian girls unless they feel they are the ones in control and power and dictating the orders they don’t want to know. Avoid like the plague.’

…the escort in question responded:

‘I am health and hygiene conscious by giving oral with a condom and not providing anal or French kissing…I tried my best to give a good service in a hygienic way…I value my health and my life and should not be picked on because of that.’

Another punter complained:

‘I enjoy facesitting, but despite listing it on her profile, Martine certainly does not! A waste of time and money.’

To which the escort responded:

‘I did try and explain that his face bristles were uncomfortable and I couldn’t fulfil this particular uncomfortable request (after 20+ mins) any longer.’

One man who had a condom split said ‘I blame the girl’s long fingernails for putting a nick in it when she was putting it on me. Then the greedy bitch was looking an extra £10 for the morn-after pill. She was told to f-off’.

‘Lovely girl; pleasant smile, an easy laugh, a nice personality and very pretty indeed. Trouble is, she very clearly would rather be doing almost anything else on the planet than having sex with men for money…. sat on the bed about as far away from me as possible, making no move whatsoever to engage…Perfunctory fuck followed. Came. Went. You can’t be a courtesan if you simply don’t want to court…’

‘Eastern European girl without a word of English. No spirit, forced attitude and a complete disinterest from the start.’

‘After fucking for 5 mins she looked at her watch and told me to hurry which killed it for me.’

‘I wanked into her cunt whilst she tried to get some sleep.’

‘It was apparent that to Maria this was just a job to be got over with.’

‘Her English is very limited and she makes it very clear through her body language that she would rather be doing something else.’

‘Truly she hates her job and is taking it out on men. Why become a pro if you cannot perform your duties?’

‘She made it clear that she was only doing this job out of absolute financial necessity and did not enjoy it.’

‘She obviously hates the job or she just hated me.’

‘There were too many ‘don’t do this or that’ for this to be an enjoyable GFE.’

‘Many prostitutes are just not capable of delivering a convincing GFE, hardly surprising when so many of them hate everything about the work.’

‘The girlfriend experience just wasn’t there, to the extent that I had problems coming and really couldn’t wait to get out.’

‘Far from girlfriend sex it was more married for twenty years sex.’

‘She appears to be in it purely for the money.’

‘Nice enough girl but she is not in the right line of work, she is just trying to make some money…’

‘Counted her money twice, that’s all that matters.’

‘Clearly only in it for money.’

‘With every thrust of your cock she is laying there thinking “£5, £10, £15, £20”…Once you reach what you’ve paid…she loses interest.’

‘She was totally uninterested apart from getting my money.’

‘I’m afraid she just wants your money.’

‘You can see she don’t enjoy her job and only in it for the money.’

‘She was cold and distant, obliviously, interested only in the money.’

‘A lot of working girls love the money but hate the job and should do something else.’

‘I reckon she was here just for the money!’

‘Seemed to be totally money-orientated.’

‘All she seemed interested in was money.’

‘She is too materialistic.’

‘I asked her why she did this job. She replied: “Why d’you think? I’ve got loads of money so I’ll become a prostitute”[?]’

‘She just stayed in doggy or all fours position and did not move, her eyes closed like she wished she was at school teaching or typing in the office…A punter is supposed to enjoy himself but not by her attitude. You must be in the wrong game luv, it’s not suitable for those just in it for the money.’

‘When I asked for OWO [oral without a condom], she took offence, saying I should show respect (I was paying for a service!)’

‘[She was] uninterested and spoke to me like she was doing me a favour and not being paid for the service.’

‘Blaise was a big disappointment…quite dominant and says ‘Do this, don’t do that’, and this was a bit annoying.’

‘She has her own exact idea of ‘the service she provides’ — she tells you exactly what to do and where to stand or sit (not in a dominatrix sort of way, just in a pernickety old woman’s way) and will not let you do what you want. She is oblivious to the fact that you are paying to do (within reason and agreed limits, of course) what you want, not what she wants you to do.’

‘She’s quite dominant and businesslike, which I found a turn off.’

‘A Russian whore…her mind was somewhere else from the beginning. Looked dull, not interested at all, very typical of bad escort who is doing this just for money.’

‘[She] said I could do bareback for extra £50. No way would I bare back her (as she did not sound or look like someone who would look after herself) and it was offered too easily.’

Do escorts enjoy paid sex?

Responding to an article by India Knight, Jenny [an escort] wrote: ‘She knows not what she talks about, so she should just keep quiet. For example, her assertion that prostitutes “stagger out [after an encounter] feeling self-disgust” and that the only way we can do our job is “through gritted teeth.” What rot. She is the perfect example of a woman who cannot understand that some women just enjoy having sex.’

Jason69 [punter] asked: ‘Are men really that silly to think when they visit a working girl, that the girl actually enjoys the sex? My partner is a escort…sometimes she has clients that ask her if she is enjoying her time with them. Of course her reply is “Yes, it’s wonderful” or her usual line to make them feel better…Are these guys really falling for this line and actually think it’s true? Are there any totally honest escorts out there that 100% enjoy or have enjoyed the sex side of the job with a client of theirs? My partner has said to me in the time she has worked, she has maybe enjoyed it twice.

(From an escort) I don’t enjoy sleeping with these men, I get no pleasure out of it whatsoever apart from the financial freedom it gives me. Furthermore I believe that MOST of these girls gushing about how much they love the sex and all that bull are saying that because they don’t want to say any different: 1) Because they have existing clients on here reading what they put. 2) See this as another form of advertising and want potential clients to book them. Truth being that the only reason we sleep with you is because you pay us to. My mind is totally on the job and making sure that they want to come back, after all I also respect the fact that they are my bread and butter…I come across very warm and happen to be very successful…I am a very good actress. [SabrinaYork]:

‘I used to delude myself (occasionally) that the escort ‘s enjoyed our sessions. Then one day I had an Asian escort, on my way downstairs…I heard her retch up like really, really badly. This hit me hard and made me think quite a lot. Didn’t stop me punting though.’ [Littlegem, punter]

‘If they were enjoying it that much they would not need to use half a tube of KY jelly, they would get wet naturally.’ [Jimmyredcab, a punter]

‘I try to think how it would feel if the table was turned. Imagine if any of us were the escort meeting up to 5 female clients a day over an extended period of time…I personally would be ready to vomit, never mind enjoy it, regardless of how good looking the client might be (in practice I would imagine most clients are a lot older that the escort and in all shapes and sizes). Considering that they are not there on a personal level but to just fuck you and leave, I think the ladies really need to have a thick skin just to do the job, forget about enjoying it. The only ones I have seen possibly enjoying it are new starters and that does not last long. The rest of it is skill and routine.’ [Mike11]

‘I never once enjoyed sex with a client in a sexual sense but I enjoyed the social side of it and the financial side of it. I love sex, just not with strangers. Sex for money is not an erotic experience for me, I find washing the floors more sexually satisfying. My old [reviews] would have you believe that I was a nymphomaniac, but it was all acting.’ [Shadylady]

One punter came up with his own estimate of escorts’ attitude:

Active dislike 5%

Passive dislike or ‘I can put up with it’ 10%

Detachment with no interest in how the punter is getting on 45%

Detachment with some interest or curiosity about the punter’s state 20%

Attention to doing things to add to the punter’s pleasure 15%

Better than that: positive and active attention 5%’

‘Not sure what there is to like about being shagged by every Tom, Dick and Abdul…I always remember telling a girl what easy money this game was and she gave me a terrific answer, she said “next time you are in the supermarket look for the ugliest old woman and imagine her shoving her tongue down your throat then let me know if you still think it is easy money.” That shut me up.’

‘This was when the moment was killed for me! I went to play with Lauren only to find some sort of discharge oozing from her! It looked like sperm as there was quite a lot. I know Lauren offers bareback and I was concerned she had indeed just been involved in such an act and not cleaned herself out! Disgusting! Put me right off.’

One escort broke the illusion by mentioning that punters have wives and girlfriends:

‘The lady…made a few disparaging comments about girlfriends or wives at home wondering where her punters were, and generally did not seem to want to be there, spoilt the experience for me really.’

Attitudes to trafficking and coercion

The official stance of the website is anti-trafficking, and punters are urged to report to the police any escort that they even suspect might be trafficked or coerced into prostitution. However, responding to a punter’s poll on the forum in 2007 which asked: Would you report it to the police if you thought the girl was trafficked? 84% said yes but 16% said no.

 One punter opined:

‘I think we should concentrate on being punters rather than women rights activists. Did you know that regardless of whether or not you come across the so called trafficked woman (whatever that means), the act of punting contributes to the exploitation of women even though you may not immediately face the impact personally. Shameful. I would give up punting right away if I was a moral person.’

A punter who voted ‘no’ added:

‘It’s just a business transaction to me,  I don’t worry about how the checkout girl in Tesco’s got to be in that job, I couldn’t care less, and the same goes for the girls that I see in parlours or the streets, or on holiday, they are selling a service and I’m buying, that’s all.’

One punter suspected that he had been with a trafficked escort:

‘I soldiered on, though…The first time I have felt bad about the whole punting experience and probably the first time I’ve been with a girl who is whoring for all the wrong reasons. Very much the dark side of punting as it is sometimes described in the papers…Not recommended unless you want to ask some real hard questions about yourself afterwards.’

In response, another punter asked: ‘Why did he not report this? It’s more important than submitting a [review].’ The first man responded:

Trafficking is not by any means a new thing, and most of us are experienced punters, having been with loads of girls, the stats would suggest that a fair percentage of us have already been with a trafficked girl at one stage in our lives, albeit, unknowingly…I’d also suggest that from the girls’ point of view, if they are told that they owe for example £8,000, then they may take the view of not looking distressed when guys come to see them, but to look glamorous and friendly, so they can earn their ‘debt’ money faster, and therefore to get out of the situation faster, even though there may be interest to be added to that ‘debt’. But the thing is, if the reports from girls who have escaped from such situations are to be believed (and I for one have no reason to suspect otherwise) is that they were generally threatened (or far worse) in to at least acting like they weren’t hating every second of it. Most girls I’ve seen have acted like they were having a great time, but there have been some who have definitely gone through the motions and wanted me out of the door asap. Now this could of course be for a variety of different reasons, as discussed before, but if I ever thought now that it was because the girl was being trafficked then I’d want to do something about it.

Punters were concerned for their own safety, not that the escorts were being pimped or forced or barred from leaving.

‘The entrance door to the flat was double locked, and the minder [i.e. male pimp] kept the key. Definitely a fire hazard and a maid would be preferable….I would only return for a different girl and preferably without the muscle. The door locks are dangerous (and illegal!) ‘

‘Again, the punter was looking to his own safety in case of fire, wilfully ignoring the evidence that the women was locked in, which almost certainly means she was trafficked.’

‘Amanda stank of alcohol. She really wasn’t with it and clearly didn’t want to be there…Sex was just an average shag which Amanda simply didn’t take part in…The final nail in the coffin of this visit was to find the “security” guard (pimp?) standing outside the bedroom door waiting for me when I left.’

‘[M]y effort to kiss and touch her was resisted…I could feel that her pussy was swollen and sore…She almost immediately told me that she was very tired, and that the agency make her work all the time. I just felt very sorry for her, and my dick became very limp. [He then received a “very nice blowjob.”] Lovely girl, but clearly overworked.’

‘[Hungarian girl aged 18] My guess is she’s been forced into this and doubt her age…Not impressed by Hungarians at all.’

‘[A very petite Thai girl] hardly…put any effort in…So she got off me but as she did she reached for some paper towels…which made me think she was on her period. I got on top of her and started with sex at which point she turned her head to one side and screwed her eyes shut. I asked if she was OK? Was I hurting her? She said it was OK carry on just cum quick! I tried to kiss her but she wanted none of it. It was really clear she was not enjoying this so I got off her. She was then concerned that “what you no like me”, “you not find me sexy”…She said she would finish me by hand. I said not to worry I would just go. But she seemed to get concerned she would be in trouble, I was then concerned if she had a bad pimp who would take it out of her if I left early so I let her try to finish me off by hand…I then left without saying much, and neither did she.’

[This man made no report to the police, even though she clearly told him she was being controlled.]

‘Visited…a Japanese girl who was not quite right and during my visit showed me a piece of paper with “I have no choice” written several times on it. Question is, Is she free or is she held, unable to get away by criminals who are using her? What do I do?’

Another punter was appalled by this:

 ‘Did you not walk out and inform the police? Yesterday they may have helped her, tomorrow she may have been moved on.’

Lying

‘You are going to be a prostitute, you firstly lie to yourself it will be for a short period of time. You lie to your family, boyfriend, husband about what you do. You lie to friends about where you go every day, you lie to anyone who asks what you do for a living, you lie to yourself again that you can give it up anytime. You lie to your clients that you only do this because you love sex, you lie to yourself that you love sex, you lie to your clients that they are your special guy, you lie to your clients about having family or husbands etc. You start to think you do look like the airbrushed image on your website, you start to listen to the lies that the clients tell that you are amazing, fabulous, special.’
‘The clients lie to themselves that they are not addicted, they lie to themselves they can give up anytime, they lie to wives, girlfriends, colleagues. They lie to the girls they book about what they do, who they see and then start to believe the lies themselves.’

‘Lying in the industry? It is built on lies !!!’ [Parlour  DivineMK]

Punters’ speculations on escorts, and what escorts think of them

‘I can’t help but feel that most (not all though) working girls have a very low opinion of their clients. They obviously want their business; however, when the chips are down they see them as dirty old men/ losers/ mugs/ unfaithful/ perverts/ etc/ etc. Basically if it wasn’t for the dosh they brought in, working girls have little respect towards punters. Generally speaking of course, am I right?’ [Molm]

‘‘I suspect you may find that attitude with some of the younger, “in it just to get through uni” types, or the young ones in parlours used to being screwed many times a day by a succession of old, overweight blokes who come in, pump and dump and then go, without so much as a bye-your-leave…I doubt that the punters who use these services care one bit what the girls’ view of them is.’ [Greybeard]

‘I most certainly have come across girls that look at punters that way. Mainly I have found the girls to be young and work back to back, as someone mentioned a dump and run service one after the other, its easy to see how they become bitter…Without the dosh you would not get into our knickers, that is true.’ [Sabrina, an escort]

‘IMHO once the masks are off, (and £££ out of the way) many working girls have a sense of contempt towards their clients.’ [Molm]

‘I’m really not sure why such an emphasis is being placed on “respect”. when I visit a lady respect is just about the last thing on my mind.’ [SaSfan]

‘I would say given the choice majority of working girls would choose a different career…Yes, there is a choice but for most the options are very limited if they want to make a decent living. For working girls from Eastern Europe and Orientals there is even less or no options available. Looking at the faces of girls dancing naked in the clubs in Bangkok, they don’t particularly seem thrilled.’ [Mike11]

Question posed by a punter:  ‘Is it a good thing (from the girls’ point of view) for young girls of 18 or 19 to step into this industry and are they emotionally capable of handling it? The risk I perceive is that the girls could get a jaundiced view of men or have a problem settling into ‘normal’ life (whatever that is).’ [Thunderstruck]

‘We all love to go on about how much paying for sex is just a business transaction and something perfectly normal while we all know perfectly well that it is not.’[Noangel]

Escorts, on parlours and agencies

‘Many years ago doing a Sunday shift in parlour (10am to 10pm), halfway through the afternoon I realised that I had cystitis and it was getting steadily worse. I explained this to the parlour owner, and said that I needed to go home and couldn’t see anymore clients. Her answer was “you leave me now, with only one other girl here, and you’ll never get another shift in another parlour in this city”. I stayed a couple more hours until the pain was unbearable then just got changed and left.’ [Debbiexxx, an escort]

[Response] ‘Some girls in parlours get treated like s**t…Maybe when I was a bit younger I could of hacked it, but at what price? I know quite a few girls who have health probs from been overworked in parlours…People may argue that a girl isn’t forced to work at a parlour, true. But been told you will never work in another parlour in the area is pretty underhand. This kind of thing is all too common in parlours…There’s some horror stories online about parlour owners keeping girls at work when they have been seriously unwell…I know some places are pretty strict about time off, unless its really serious, you cant just ring in sick and keep your job there. Of course with parlours not been covered by employment law etc, owners make their own rules.’  [Kinkyvixen77, an escort]

‘I used to work in a massage parlour, nearly 80% were foreign women, many placed there to pay off debts, many placed by boyfriends. But I was helpless, the shocking stories I heard made me leave as they were playing on my mind more than what I was actually doing, money was flying out my pocket because I felt sorry for them (tart with a heart, I know). I couldn’t do anything else as they spoke little English and needed the work, they would give their takings to their predators and slyly keep some on the side. I kept thinking, if I reported it then what would become of them and their situation?’ [Nadia]

Other comments by and about escorts

Escorts say they will leave the work if they get into a serious relationship, fall in love, were getting married or starting a family. Many planned to get out of the life as soon as they can, for example once their children were self-supporting, or once a mortgage or large loan has been paid off.

Claire wrote: ‘I note most of you refer to ‘getting out’ rather than simply ‘leaving’ or ‘moving on’. Getting out sounds rather like ‘escaping’, doesn’t it?’

‘I never really liked visiting men who were using their matrimonial bed to conduct activities and yes, I did frown upon this…[At a stag party] I got the best man and my friend got the groom, but I just feel it was disrespectful to be shagging a prostitute the night before he got married.’ [Oldgirldontheblock, an escort]

Danrogers: ‘I always wonder why so many women don’t wake up to the fact they work say on the minimum wage of £6 an hour yet could be on £6 for 2 two minutes…Why don’t more girls work as working girls?? I’d like to see about 50 working girls in each small town.’

Vin Daloo: ‘Just maybe it’s because it isn’t actually that palatable to the vast majority of women’.

Claire, an escort: ‘Maybe most girls just aren’t willing to take the risks.’

Debbie, an escort: ‘I doubt that the majority would be able to handle it psychologically…Do you think your mother/sister/daughter should go into the ‘profession’?’

MiserableGit: ‘I personally have no interest in the motives behind why a working girls chooses that profession. What I do care about is whether she provides a good service with value for money.’

Mike52: [In response to an escort who, upon announcing she was getting married found her bookings reduced] ‘You’ve got to remember a lot of them are buying / renting a fantasy or illusion. Part of that fantasy / illusion is that “you” exist for their pleasure, to tell them you have a partner or that you’re getting married punctures the balloon.’

Jimmyredcab: ‘How any married man can allow his wife to work in this industry is something I will never understand…a man who allows his wife to rent out her body to every Tom, Dick and Abdul obviously has no respect for her….The vast majority of women would not work in this industry.’

Ailsa, an escort: ‘I don’t understand how you can punt, have respect for yourself, and the women you pay, yet describe the partners’ of prostitutes as not ‘decent’ people. It doesn’t make sense. How are they any less ‘decent’ than punters or prostitutes?’

Laura, an escort: ‘If I was a guy I wouldn’t ‘allow’ my wife to work as an escort.’

Vin Daloo: ‘I have to agree with mike52 on this — knowing that a escort has a husband or boyfriend puts the act of paid-for sex into sharp relief. As for double standards, it’s one thing to be putting one’s own relationship at risk, but another thing to be potentially interfering in someone else’s.’

Ally: Anyone who says or thinks ‘not my wife/girlfriend or daughter’ etc. obviously believes that prostitution is either morally wrong, on religious or ethical grounds, or he believes that it is degrading and distasteful…If you hold those views and yet you still punt you are doing something which you disapprove of and deplore in others, which of course makes you a hypocrite and someone of no real moral backbone.’

Comments by readers:

After reading this I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so ashamed of being male. Steve, Exeter

Some of the comments about this subject are a horrifying insight into how some men view women and sex. It would appear that some will go to any length to obtain sex instead of working on a more fulfilling relationship with their partners. If you can’t enjoy a sexual relationship fully with your wife/partner then why not try to mutually improve it or accept you are not compatible and end the relationship rather than betray them? Sadly I think because most men deep down have little respect for women.SW, Dundee

These men do not seem to be able to make the connection between themselves and trafficked women. Their ‘lawful’ purchase of sexual services increases the overall demand for women in the sex industry which in turn creates the demand for trafficked women. I view the buyer of sex as the ultimate perpetrator. Real sexual relationships are not hard to find. There are plenty of adults of both sexes who are willing to have sex if someone treats them well, and asks. But there lies the problem. Some people do not want an equal, sharing relationship. They do not want to be nice. They like the power involved in buying a human being who can be made to do almost anything. Louise, London

I would like to ask a couple of questions of men who use prostitutes: why are you interested in having sex with a woman you don’t know and with whom you have no emotional involvement? Furthermore, do you have no qualms whatsoever that the woman in question might be unwilling? That she may only be doing this for money rather than enjoyment; or, worse, that she will be severely punished if she doesn’t participate? How does this constitute a sexually satisfying experience? Lucy, Suffolk

I found some of the comments quite shocking, especially the comment about demanding oral sex from a partner and not getting it. I’m sure most women wouldn’t dream of visiting a prostitute when their male partner doesn’t satisfy their fantasies or demands. Cheryl Evans, Oldham, Greater Manchester

It’s sad that people will always believe what they want to believe. The idea these women are not vulnerable is so wrong. I know a girl well…and her background is frightening. Abuse at a young age, leading to drugs to forget about it, and now she thinks she cannot do anything else, other than having sex for money.

Sounds to me like these men have created a lot of ways to justify their actions…I mean, the welfare system? Laughable. Claire, Lincoln

Men paying for sex is as old as the human race. True. However it’s supply and demand. If there was no demand, the supply would die off. I support the Swedish model, stop criminalising the women. I very much doubt that when those women first left home their highest ambition in life was to become a prostitute. The men in the article are making feeble excuses for what they do for pleasure. And if it is a perfectly harmless pastime, well, they should let their wives know. Before they give them an STD as a loving gift. Maria, Harrogate

I agree entirely with prostitution being illegal and the men being punished for it, that is not to say the women need to be somehow taken out of that life of exploitation and abuse, be it a jail sentence or a rehabilitation process. I highly disagree with the final comment, the welfare system needs to be vastly reduced, surely all the free money given to people who haven’t the drive to get a real job fuels the desire to get some tax free pay by prostituting your body. Peter Collinson, Dundee

Do these men seriously believe that every penny they hand over goes to the women they encounter. Money is taken from these women by pimps or ‘escort agency fixers’. As for not coming across any trafficked women they are delusional if they think the women are going to tell them, these women are physically abused time and time again, they are mentally traumatised and live in terror of their abusers 24/7. Admit it, you are exactly what the press portray you as.K, South Yorkshire

Legalizing and regulating prostitution would not improve the situation, it would only make it worse and it would increase criminal activities: women working in licensed brothels would still be controlled by outside pimps; many brothel owners would be criminals themselves; the creation of a legal and regulated prostitution industry would only lead to another parallel illegal industry, as many women would not want to register and work legally (since this would rob them of their anonymity) and other women would not be hired by legal brothels because of underlying problems (eg. drug abuse); legalizing prostitution would make it more socially acceptable to buy sex, creating a huge demand for prostitutes (both by local men and by foreigners engaging in sex tourism) and, as a result, human trafficking and underage prostitution would increase in order to satisfy this demand

Prostitution is a significant issue in feminist thought and activism. Many feminists are opposed to prostitution. They argue that, in most cases, prostitution is not a conscious and calculated choice. Most women who become prostitutes do so because they were forced or coerced by a pimp or by human trafficking, or, when it is an independent decision, it is generally the result of extreme poverty and lack of opportunity, or of serious underlying problems, such as drug addiction, past trauma (especially child sexual abuse) and other unfortunate circumstances. Most prostitutes are in a very difficult period of their lives and most want to leave this occupation.[43] Prostitutes have sex with hundreds of strangers during a short period of time, an experience which will most likely traumatize them and have negative long term effects on their life. Such feminists see prostitution as a form of male dominance over women, as the client has sex with a woman who does not enjoy it and who is making a tremendous psychological effort to mentally dissociate herself from the client; the act of prostitution is not a mutual and equal sex act, it puts the woman in a subordinate position, reducing her to a mere instrument of sexual pleasure for the client. Some feminists believe that many clients use the services of the prostitutes because they enjoy the ‘power trip’ they derive from the act and the fact that they have control over these women during the sexual activity. Prostitution is seen by these feminists as the result of a patriarchal societal order, which subordinates women to men, and where the inequality between genders is present in all aspects of life. These feminists believe that prostitution is very harmful to society as it reinforces the idea that women are sex objects which exist for men’s enjoyment, which can be ‘bought’ and which can be ‘used’ solely for men’s sexual gratification. Feminists argue that when a society accepts prostitution, it sends the message that it is irrelevant how the woman feels during sex or what the consequences of sex will be for her, and that it is acceptable for a man to engage in sexual activity with a woman who does not enjoy it and who is mentally and emotionally forcing herself in order to be able to cope; the normalization of such one sided sexual encounters might negatively affect the way men relate to women in general and might increase sexual violence against women.Andrea Dworkin, herself an ex-prostitute, was a supporter of such views on prostitution and rejected the idea that prostitution could be reformed. She said: ‘Prostitution in and of itself is an abuse of a woman’s body. Those of us who say this are accused of being simple-minded. But prostitution is very simple. (…) In prostitution, no woman stays whole. It is impossible to use a human body in the way women’s bodies are used in prostitution and to have a whole human being at the end of it, or in the middle of it, or close to the beginning of it. It’s impossible. And no woman gets whole again later, after.’ [44]

In fact, it is the millions of buyers of sex, far outnumbering the women and girls in prostitution that they use, who not only making their choice but ardently defending their practice of prostitution. But their choice and practice is not only unexamined and unquestioned, it is brushed aside by such international agencies as the World Health Organization. In its Geneva report on AIDS in 1988, pages were devoted to the socio-economic profiles of women in prostitution while a terse paragraph stated that ‘Clients are more numerous than the providers of sex services…The factors which lead persons to become clients are largely unknown.’ The general refusal to devote critical scrutiny or to assign responsibility to the users of prostitution, who clearly constitute by far the more important component of the prostitution system is nothing less than tacit defense of male sexual privilege and practice. Cecilia Hofmann

Where the quotes came from

This report is based on a study of Punternet, a British website where ‘men who buy sex submit reviews of prostitutes. As well as reviews the site also contains a messageboard-style forum where punters communicate with one another by leaving messages that all other members can read and reply to. Both the review section and the forum are accessible to anyone free of charge and without having to register. I joined in 2009. I did not take part in discussions but eavesdropped and copied and pasted quotes from the posts. A small number of quotes (clearly indicated) were taken from ForumX, another punters’ online meeting place. Punctuation and spelling have been corrected where necessary.

Since Punternet went online in 1999, over 90,000 reviews of prostitutes used were posted in ten years. The total spent in that decade was £11.5m. One member has spent nearly £30,000 on prostitutes in eight years, visiting on average 2.5 a month and paying on average £124 per visit. The average price paid in London (the highest) is £160 and in Stoke (the lowest) it is £63, giving a national average visit price of £129.